IF

If I could reach out just once more
Touch your hand --- Feel the warmth under mine
I'd give up now for that moment...

If I had known that the last hug I gave
Was the Last --- I would have held tighter
And longer --- Maybe Forever...

If I had known the last time your hand
Touched my cheek --- It would be the LAST ...
I'd have rested my cheek in the palm of your hand
Just fell asleep --- breathing in all of you...


I would have looked longer at your eyes
When you called my name
And kept looking --- for with us
Words never had to be shared ---
A smile, A nod, A touch
That was it...

If I had known our last snuggle movie fest
Was to be our LAST ---
I'd have picked several more ---
Made the weekend last longer ...

                                                 
The air would have been colder ---
The blanket warmer 
And I still would have slept
Through all of the movie....

It was the safety in your presence ---                        
And in your arms
That made me OK.....
Now there is WIDE OPEN SPACE
In my heart --- an aching emptiness
That can't say goodbye...



  @katheybuchanan2008

Kaleidoscope

If you peer through stained glass windows,
The world you'll see will be a blur,
A mess of blue and yellow problems
That glare upon you as you go.
Sometimes it's nice to know that somewhere,
Enticed within this trap of color,
There is a gleam of pure logic,
A glimpse of joy that you discover.
So when you feel that, trapped in hues,
You can't escape and can't forget,
And every impulse of contentment
Has left you bare with regret,
What you must do is strain by color
Each one that stares back at you,
And with each tint you will discover
The things you once could not construe.

Ann Ostrovsky

Love and Friend: Find your Bliss

I was going to start this blog and put it in general terms and thought better of it, for labeling all women in general the same or as wanting the same would not be true... So I decided to write from my heart, represent me and only me, from somewhere deep within and let the cookie crumble where it may.... so to speak.....

For me, this is about love and friendship -- the trusting that it takes to build said friendship... the true letting your heart feel free to open up completely...To experience it (trust / love) from a child like understanding again... I think once we cross over into adulthood we have seen so much hurt and disappointment sometimes that trust doesn't come so easy anymore... Although we long for it... We long for that soft place to fall and feel safe and at ease if for just a moment... I think most of us perhaps all want the same thing which is to love and be loved...We just all go about it in many different ways..

    I, for one, would love for a man to lead me down the beach blind folded just so I could feel the sand (really feel it) beneath my feet... Smell the salt water air tickle my nose as the tide rolls in as the sun starts to fade... Wake up to smell of coffee... that I did not have to make..Are these unreasonable things for me ( as a woman) to long for.... I can't see how they would be, when I so readily would give them back in return...

          

As day to day life runs us around in circles ... I think perhaps we get so caught up in the ebb and flow of making a living and paying the bills that we forget what living is all about ... what truly enjoying life and your partner is suppose to be about ...Life is Life --- no way around it --- however that doesn't mean you have to stop living and enjoying the very nature of why you began a relationship to start with.. So many relationships fall to the wayside because we become so wrapped up in what we need to do -- what bill needs to get paid -- what kid has what ball game and we forget that we have a living breathing partner who loves and adores us or did at one time... we get lost in what we think life is suppose to be about instead of what life is about each other -- Don't get me wrong bill have to be paid and all that other stuff but if you loose site of the beginning, how it all started -- then in the end -- you have lost everything any way --- 

So take the time to walk on the beach, surprise your lover, take the time to smile over a meal--- take the time to say a prayer together... just take the time in general..... after all -- a little time is all it ever really takes to hold onto the most precious of everything --- Find your bliss --- and breathe it in.....

Not Ready --

After many years of friendship, you wake up one morning to find that the one, the very one you considered your best friend has indeed lost that wonderful thing that is usually found within the human skull called a brain..... Yes that is right they wake up one day and have lost their brain... all sense common and or book smarts... Gone right out the window... why would you claim to be best friends to someone then accuse that best friend of horrible acts that you know in your heart of hearts is and can not be true.....
When all is said and done you come running back saying I am so sorry and please forgive me... 
My answer is No... I am not ready ...Not ready to make nice....




So here ya go ex-friend --- I do not want your friend-ship anymore and I do not trust your friendship anymore...

You gotta love this

Awake

                   

Awake -- Listening carefully

                         Yet trying not to hear.

                           Toss and turn, fluff the pillow

                           Fix the covers, eyes closed

                           Trying not to hear.

                           Louder still.

                           Creaking doors, clicking vents

                           Footsteps on the floor

                           And still trying not to hear.

                           Sounds beside me -- breathing, snoring

                           Whispers in my ear.

                          "Are you OK?" -- "What can I do?"

                           Still trying trying not to hear

                           Are they my mind's eye

                           From the past -- afraid to hear.

                           Trying not to hear.

                                                                                 Dawn approaches, slumber appears

                                                                                 At last, not hearing, finally I sleep.

@katheyBuchanan2004

better not bitter

The difficulties in life are meant to make us better not bitter...

Someone once told me to live for the moment and I couldn't comprehend that until now...

If I plan for a tomorrow that isn't promised ... what have I left at the wayside today?

Living for today in this moment makes more sense ...

Now that I have grown a little older and a little wiser this past year...

I want today

I want this moment

I want this love, this friendship...

This happy moment

And yes even this pain

If it come with the process...

It too makes me the stronger person...

That I have become...

@KatheyBuchanan2010

"Don't compromise yourself, you are all you've got."---Janis Joplin 1943---1970

Father's Day Approaches

A real parent makes sacrifices in life to ensure their children are happy, healthy, well taken care of, & would do ANYTHING for their children.They always come first & ALWAYS WILL. A parent loves their children unconditionally no matter what they have done or what they can do. It Takes More Than Blood To Call Yourself A Parent!

                 History of Father's Day...

It would be interesting to know how Father's Day came into practice and celebrated worldwide with an equal sincerity and respect as any other significant holidays. Here's a short history on the holiday, and meaning of the different colors of roses to be worn that Day. You may even refer the page to others to share the information by clicking on the link given below.

http://www.theholidayspot.com/fathersday/history.htm

About 4,000 years ago a young boy named Elmusu wished his Babylonian father good health and a long life by carving a Father's Day message on a card made out of clay. No one knows what happened to Elmesu or his father, but the tradition of having a special day honoring fathers has continued through the years in countries across the world.

The Countries, where the Catholic Church were of significant influence on the culture of the society, Father's Day is celebrated on St. Joseph's Day (March 19). However, a more secular celebration which is not associated with any religion is followed in recent times to highlight the increased diversity among people from all over the globe coexisting together in one place.

Father's Day is celebrated popularly on 3rd Sunday in June in many parts of the world. The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909. Having been raised by her father, Henry Jackson Smart, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge proclaimed the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. President Nixon, in 1972, established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June. So Father's Day was born as a token of love and gratitude that a daughter cherishes for her beloved father. Roses are the Father's Day flowers: red to be worn for a living father and white if the father has died.

The love and care of a father is as essential as sunlight is in our lives. It is his protection that shelters us, his care that nurtures us, his guidance that leads us and his love that fills us with joy. Father's Day is the day to pay tribute to that wondrous creature called the Father. Great people all over the world have, from time to time, praised their own fathers; pondered over the greatness of fatherhood and commented on what goes on to make ideal Fathers.... I call my Dad ... Grandfather(he is in heaven now)...

Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.
~ Anonymous

 As Father's Day gets closer I find myself missing my grandfather and my birth-father.  I guess to some this would sound very strange but then again with the way life is in our society today maybe not so much... See my mom and dad were divorced when I was fourteen/fifteen years of age... My birth-dad missed a lot in my life... I think for many years I wanted to blame him ... I think perhaps I did... then I blamed my mom... I shouldn't have.. She shouldered the load just about all alone but by the grace of my GRANDFATHER.... (who is now in heaven)... these are things that weigh heavy on my heart this Father's Day... I am now 41 and this issue of divorce and absent Fathers still grabs at my heart and tugs at my soul like it were yesterday that my very own father walked away.  He divorced my mother yet somehow it felt more like he divorced my mother and me...For when he left he left... When I realized that this was the way it was to be I spent my days trying to build a wall around my heart so that no-one could touch that place that he had hurt.... In my humble opinion when parents divorce they should remember that it is the children they should strive to keep peace for and in spite of each other... The money, the fighting , the blame game only sends out a message of hurt and anger to the child...In my case my father was gone and did not return to my life on any stable level for many years... and when I say stable I mean one time maybe two times a year since my daughter was born (she is twenty now)...  I have come to accept this although it still hurts and I think I have demolished my own personal relationships due to but not in spite of this.... I love my birth- father very much and I believe he loves me however I don't think he comprehends the true meaning of just what a FATHER is and or how to be one for he never has had to be one (at least not with me or my sister)... 

Maybe my ramblings do not make a bit of sense, maybe I seem like a mad woman at 41 for rambling here and now however this is me and my stuff..... and on Father's Day -- I wanted to give a little history for history sake and I wanted to say ... Happy Father's Day (to my MOM) (my grand-father who is now in Heaven) and also to (my Birth-Father) for although he was not present for many years and we still have unresolved issues he is who he is and I do love him..... 

Blessed Be

Breze

Feel My Thoughts

A light perhaps not seen

Flickering just before dawn

Look careful,

Search, You'll see

The deepest secrets I keep.

Hold my eyes with yours

My hand next to your heart

Feel my thoughts

Know my touch

Even when your eyes are closed...

@2006Kathey Green(Buchanan)

Strength?

My head pounds and swishes

Like it has its own heartbeat

It swirls with water like vibrations and

I feel as if I'll fall to my knees.

The room starts to spin --

And I find myself holding on

Is it fair to ask you to stay for the ride

When even I'm not sure if 

I can be strong...

HOW

As time passes
And memories seem a distant past
The portals of my mind takes me back...
To a place
Where we once loved
Where we once cried
Where we once lived
And where we once Believed
We were untouchable...
But time 
And distance...
Made us so aware, of just how mortal we are
And now you've moved on...
Another holds your heart,
Holds your hand
And now you tell me 
Carries your child...
Much happiness I wish you...
But the portals of my mind will never forget us...
Forever Sweetpea


@KMB

I watch from my seated position as he rides in from the distance.

The wind tickles my nose and its fingers dance lightly across my skin.

His face shows the weariness of another long day, the dust

surrounding his clothes from the ride. He has mended the fences, 

herded the cattle and now cares for the horse he has been astride 

much of the day.

His hands though strong are soft upon my skin and his eyes always

shine with love.

He is broad in the shoulder and could fight a bull, but one tender

look and he melts into a teddy bear.

His arms hold me tight and demand love in return but never with 

words only with his cowboy charm......................

@KMG8/2002

Part of Me

You cross my mind
You enter my thoughts
I see your face
I hear your laugh
Your smile dances across my mind
Like a slow motion picture
And
I long to hear your voice
I miss you 
More it seems than 
Time should allow...
My heart feels a longing for you 
And I know
You will forever be 
A part of me...

@KatheyBuchanan29,march,2004

Make up an alias

Skinny Dip

Insist on being called "Your Majesty

Start with Dessert

Be a diva for a night at a karaoke bar

Act out a page of the Kama Sutra --- hummmmm

Call in sick and spend the whole day shopping with a friend

Own something leather, besides a coat or gloves..

Date a guy you met on the internet

Give someone famous your autograph

Rent a convertible and go where the wind blows

Go commando

Dance on top of a bar

Forget what your mother would think

Ask a man out

Buy a really racy piece of lingerie

Send yourself a dozen roses

Audition for a TV Reality Show

Go skydiving ---oh yeah

Bet it all on black in Vegas---and let it ride

Be the BOSS - (he will never know he is always at lunch)

Try on very expensive clothes in a boutique that you know you can't afford...

Invent an interesting past ---(my past has a different name --it's Lilly)

Talk in a foreign accent all day

Smoke a cigar

Have a three martini lunch and go back to work refreshed

Create your own holiday and celebrate it every year

Make a voodoo doll of your ex (yeah you know who you are -- having problems)?

Pretend your a food critic at a trendy restaurant

Make snow angels

Blame everything on your evil twin

Wear a feather boa and movie star glasses to the grocery store..(that'll get ya some looks).........

Flirt your way through a traffic jam.

Taste every variety of margarita

Throw a silk pajama party and greet guests with a glass of champagne

Go on two dates in one night

Ask your boyfriend to paint your toenails in exchange for the remote

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.....................

While my emotions have flip-flopped, I will say this---the situation I am in

Has a quietness about it --- a subtle undertone of acceptance 

For the here and now and all that is...

Nothing more, Nothing less

It is something I have never known, therefore I am not use too...

However I am willing because I like the calm...

The peaceful pace at which my life seems to be spinning

The welcome flow of what is...

Right at this moment..

No Hurry...

No Rush...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@KatheyBuchanan 2jan2010

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music..."

Acting As If

You toss and turn

Reach for me

Toss and turn again 

I reach for you

We fight ourselves

In this friendship

We pretend to control

Yet we fall back to each other

As if it's all we have

Ever known...

I pretend I won't fall

As do you

Yet

Here we are

In the night

Holding each other

Laughing 

Talking

Sharing

Acting As If---?

__________________________________________

copyrights katheybuchanan

Love me

by Kathey Machelle Green

Quell my thirst
Feed my soul

Hold me close
Keep me warm

Touch me
Know me

Teach me
Reach for me

But more than anything
Love me
Just love me....

Copyright © 2009

Color

If my heart

Could remember

The color

Of our love

Maybe

Just maybe

Memories would

Flood my soul

Crowd my mind

And

I'd swim among

The living again

Until that time

I remain

Colorless

__________________________

 Copyright ©2009 Kathey Green Buchanan

When time stands still
And winds cease to blow

That will be the time
I no longer know my Heart

When time Stops
And oceans run dry

That will be the time
I no longer know your Heart

When time escapes us
And our eyes no longer sparkle

We will know
Until then

There is no time

Only NOW.................

Kathey buchanan@ 3/19/2010

You calm the troubled waters of my weary soul

You've held my hand and gave me strength

When surely I thought all reality had left me

You've prayed with me

You've cried with me

And become my friend

Surely God must be

Smiling in Heaven 

For my Heart is Full Again....

Morals are like fingerprints --- You have them for life....